Love is Letting Go
“What do we do when our hearts hurt?” asked the boy.
”We wrap them with friendship, shared tears and time, till they wake hopeful and happy again.”
The Value of Learning from Mistakes
Growing up is hard. Skinned knees, monsters under the bed, clothes stained beyond recognition, childhood can be scary, messy, and sometimes painful. As parents, we cringe when they ride a two-wheeler for the first time. Full of pride and scared to death that they’ll hurt themselves. We buy goldfish, weekly if need be, to protect their young hearts from the pain of loss. We want them to grow up, but we also want to protect them. As someone who has worked with many families with children from pre-k through high school, I can attest that these feelings never go away.
Even at a school like GUS, where we like to think there are only rainbows and sunshine in our bubble, there are bumps in the road. Especially in middle school, young people are working to figure out who they are (as our curriculum suggests) and where they fit in. Learning who you are is like all learning, full of twists and turns, highs and lows. There are bright shiny moments when it all comes together, but also hard-fought moments that require grit and determination. Growing up, at any age really, is always hard. Yet, it is these difficult moments that can lead to the greatest growth, the most insight, and provide a foundation for the person of tomorrow.
It’s not easy to take your hand off the bike as your child rides away on that two-wheeler and I don’t think it gets any easier to watch your child wobble whether walking, working on a tough math problem, or dealing with social issues. It’s even harder when we think they are doing it wrong, yet sometimes, those are the moments when we need to take a step back and let them figure it out. Yes, they might make mistakes, but luckily at GUS, there is a safe place to land.
While we can’t fix every problem, we can surround students with a population of people who genuinely care. Whether they are struggling academically or perhaps with a social issue, we don’t just give them the answer (and sometimes there isn’t one), but we hold them, console them, and guide them to their own learning. We love them through the difficulty. Whether analyzing complex literary text, or interpreting texts from friends, whatever they need, we are here for them and we take a deliberate approach to supporting them. While we may get some eye rolls, just as parents often do, we are as committed to responding to social mistakes as we are to academic ones. Teaching students to live and learn together takes as much time and attention as teaching a new verb conjugation.
As I often share, I feel we have truly succeeded as a school when a student is faced with a problem and they aren’t afraid. I often use an example of math or science, where they are asked to pull from past knowledge and seek out resources that will help them figure it out with confidence. However, this confidence is equally as important for their social emotional growth, as they learn to navigate points of frustration, to stick up for themselves and others, and to learn to coexist with people who are different from them. GUS helps students to gain command of their knowledge of themselves and who they want to be: to evaluate situations, draw from experiences and conversations, and seek out those who can help, both inside and outside of the classroom.
Yes, growing up is hard (and often messy), but over the course of a student's time at GUS, they become ready. As we send them off to high school, it’s much like letting go of the bike. We watch them ride off, a little sad that it has gone by so fast, praying for flat road and fair weather, but also with confidence. We know if they fall down, they will get back up. Our graduates can handle any problem or bump in the road, and if they are ever in doubt, we will continue to be a safe space for them to land.
And to our parents and guardians, past and present, we are also always here for you. Thanks for sharing your most precious babies with us. We love these special partnerships in so many important ways.
Together, we trust and go forward.
Gretchen Forsyth
Head of School